Baby, It's Freaking Cold Outside- A Guide to Winter in Chicago

I know we are not very far in our lessons, but tis the season of frost bite, frozen noses, and snow. I figure you need to know these things now before you pay a dreadful price.

Things Suburbanites Need to Know About Winter in Chicago

1. It. Is. Really. Really. Cold.

Whenever you see the temperature forecast for the 'burbs, subtract about 15 degrees. That's how cold it really is in the city- with windchill (that's what happens when you are by a lake).

2. Do Not Be Afraid to Over-prepare/Look Ridiculous

I was persuaded into buying a very expensive coat this past weekend- a coat made out of that new thin "supposedly warm" stuff, goes past my knees, goes up to my nose, and is wind resistant. I did not want to buy this thing. I have lived in the Chicago area my whole life. I know how to handle these winters. I was born with tough skin!

Oh, how naive I was.

I bought the thing, more or less to get my mother off my back, and wore it the next day to work- a day with a forecast of a high of 20 and a low of 12 (remember subtract 15). With the windchill, it ended up being well below 0 and the wind seemed to have a serious anger management problem that day.

I couldn't feel a thing. Not a hint of a chill or a tickle of the icy wind. Nothing but warm.

So yes, you may look ridiculous with your snow gloves, boots, hat, ear muffs, puffy hood, snow boots, flannel pants, windbreaker pants, wool socks, and giant marshmallow coat, but at least you are warm. You can secretly snicker at all of those girls waking around in Uggs and North Face fleeces. They obviously don't know what city they are in.

For those of you who choose to drive into the city (though I do not recommend this method of transportation- see my last post), you will also need to prepare. Remember to start your car at least 15 minutes before you leave. That way the car can warm up and your heat can start up. Don't forget the ice pike/snow brush- just in case you get out and it snowed on ya. Add 30 minutes to your travel time when you wake up to snow. Trust me- you will need that time.

3. Dibs

I encountered this concept when I used to visit a friend who lived near Midway.

"What's that chair doing in the street, " I asked.

"That's a dib," friend said.

"A what?"

"A dib. People use lawn chairs to claim their parking spots in front of their house."

This idea makes no sense when you are living in the 'burbs. There are always ample amount of spots, driveways, and parking lots to choose from. But in the city, no one has a driveway or garage behind their house so they have to park on the street (or in a garage blocks away from their apartment). If there is an open spot, you claim it.

Some people say it's okay to move someone's dib, but other people disagree. My advice is to leave it and keep trying. People are touchy about their dibs.

4. Use Other Forms of Transportation, if necessary

Shortcuts, shortcuts, shortcuts. Walk through a building, walk down lower Wacker instead of upper Wacker. Find other routes that will keep you warmer than walking along the hauling river,

Look into taking a bus or a train or even spend your money on a taxi. When you don't think you can make your walk, don't try. If you have warm enough clothing (like a crazy marshmallow coat), feel free to try.

5. Travel Light

You are adding about 5 lbs when you have all your winter gear on. So do your best to travel lightly- one bag with everything in it, leave your lunch at work. You will have lots of things you could lose- a hat, a glove- don't let that thing be your purse.

6. Pump It Up

Imagine your trek through the elements as an arctic challenge. You are climbing a mountain to get to the magical land of Flowing Hot Chocolate and Warm Cookies. You are completing an obstacle race to win a trip to the Bahamas. You must run through the frozen wasteland to save your frozen puppy. You pick your scenario that will get you excited.

Now choose a soundtrack to go with it. As if you were choosing a workout playlist, choose songs that have an up-tempo beat in 4/4 measure that you can walk to. When you freezing your butt off, Michael Buble will serenade you to warmth.

7. Reward Yourself

Once you have reached your destination, unwrap yourself from your cocoon and grab a hot tea, coffee or hot chocolate. Not only will this warming beverage take away all the chill from your bones, it will also give you incentive to do it all over again tomorrow!

8. Become a Weather Nerd

It is better to know too much than be blind sighted by a blizzard. Before you head into the city, check two different weather outlets so that you can get the best idea of what you will be heading into. I use this wonderful app called Swackett that even tells me what to wear every day.